I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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