At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
