Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize