I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i think i have herpe
just one?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
