the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
