I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
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