there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
