When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
