lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
