why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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