Grow some girl-balls and come out already
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
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I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
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I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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