Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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