I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
