she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
How does one acquire holy water?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
