he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
