She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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