Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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