Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
