he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
