I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
