are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
