They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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