Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
