Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
