his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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