i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
