i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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