Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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