dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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