I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
