you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
