Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
