for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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