exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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