When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize