singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
