remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
