there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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