the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
