There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
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I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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