i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize