so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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