I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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