dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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