Me too!
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
