How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
