he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
