We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I've blown a few things in my day
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
