How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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