He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
