the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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