How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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