can we get nightvision for the apartment?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
