I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
