textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
