How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
