Duck Duck Cougar?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
