You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize