And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
