porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
