every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
BRING THE BAGELS
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
