So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize