You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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