He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
