The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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