can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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