I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
