I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
